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Writer's pictureAmanda Wowk

Indulge



Indulge. A piece inspired by happiness.

I run. I cook. I read. When I am at my happiest, I indulge in one of these three simple yet good-for-the-soul activities. Why these three? None of them let me take the easy way out. And what causes such happiness? Well happiness, to me, is when I will time to slow down just a bit - so I can squeeze more moments out of it. I know this, because I've also known the exact opposite. Days I've wished away, willing for better ones to come. Days when the big things in my life were a mess, and even the little things didn't make sense.

Besides my impossible habit of hitting snooze and staying under the warm covers, my time in Edinburgh has afforded me the level of happiness to face each day with an obnoxious smile on my face. Yes, I'm that girl walking to work, on a Monday, in the rain - smiling. Why? Because I've tuned out the should and should nots, the noise and the negativity -- and finally found a way to see the little things in life. An infectious giggle from a little girl, running circles around her mum on the sidewalk. (That has GOT to be the cutest laugh ever, I thought to myself.) Catching the sun shining down on St. Mary's on an otherwise cloud-filled day. A knowing smile & 'the usual, Amanda?' from my local barista. Maybe this time she won't ask me why I still haven't set up my Starbucks card. A little boy sitting on his front stoop with his dad, extending his hand for high fives from strangers. High five him, I did. And with that, both of our days were made. These are such simple things, but they stick with me. So, why couldn't I see them before? Because I took the easy way out. I let myself be consumed by noise, and let my vision be clouded by self-doubt.

I've learned, that I don't have to focus my full attention to see the simple things. I just have to be absent of numbing distraction. If I was too caught up in faraway thoughts, I would have missed that extended hand. If my head was down, cursing the blustery weather, I would have missed the streams of sun illuminating the steeples above. I would have missed that perfect shot. I would have missed that touching moment.

Life is like a pie. (An apple pie in my world; à la mode when I'm lucky.) I won't always have the whole pie; pieces may go missing. But I must stop staring at the small piece that's gone, because I'll neglect the very large portion I still have. Instead, I enjoy every indulgence; every opportunity; every day.

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I had the idea for a blog years upon years ago. My concept of 'pie' was going to be my first entry. But I was too busy or too fearful or too distracted to write then. I see now, it was always in my heart to write it. And though I often strayed, I've always come back to it. So I will add 'I write' to my list of happiest time activities too. Like the other indulgences in my life, writing won't let me take the easy way out. And if I choose to stray again, at least I'll come back with a story to tell.

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